just be held...

Its been quite the few weeks. It has been a few weeks of trying to desperately hold on to hope, faith and optimism. But I have been reminded over and over that I need to surrender everything and just be held...

This song has been a constant reminder since a few weeks ago when I saw it on Facebook the day after Josh, my husband, called me to let me know that he had been layed off affective immediately with severance pay.  His company had to do some cut backs and we knew that it might happen further down the road but we were definitely not prepared for it to be right now. 

I fell apart. We had plans. We had hopes and dreams of how life was going to be in the next little while and it didn't include this. Josh was a rock this whole time. He jumped right into finding a new job. Getting his resume together, making connections, putting himself out there only to find that basically no one is hiring. 

But that hasn't stopped him.... Josh has been working so hard to find a new job. Researching, sending resumes, emailing companies, applying in a few different cities and praying. 

Me on the other hand let my mind begin to wander... Whats going to happen when his severance ends?  Will we be moving?  How will that affect our adoption?  Will growing our family the only way we can be delayed?  How are we going to continue to try and save for growing our family?  These questions still continue to run through my brain. 

As hard as this has been God doesn't abandon us in these situations. We don't know what his plan is for us and our family. We don't know where he is taking us. We don't know his timing. But we know His plan is GOOD. We know He is GUIDING us where He wants us. And we know that His TIMING is perfect. 

I know for myself I worry so much and this song has been the daily reminder that tells me I need to let go of worry, control and fear.  It is not the way God wanted us to live our lives and I need to just be held by our creator and trust the story that He wrote for my life.

Often easier said than done, but so worth it.

If you are a praying person would you please consider praying for:

- A job for Josh... wherever that might be.

- Our little one waiting to become part of our family.

- Peace for our family.

be blessed~
shaeline