So a little while back I said there was a blog post coming soon and then life just got away on me! Between Easter in Calgary with my brother and sister-in-law, a get-a-way weekend with my husband which included COLDPLAY and our school Spring Arts Musical it has been quite the last few hectic weeks.
To recap back to just before Easter we had received a small piece of exciting news! In February we had realized we needed to get cracking on our first step of the Citizinship process and so we sent in our paperwork to the government. After receiving a letter saying that it would take 15 weeks to process we were feeling a bit discouraged. But just before Easter (5 weeks later) we received the first step back and it was processed and ready to go! It was such a huge blessing that it happened so fast!
Then just last week we got word that both countries have now signed the paperwork needed and South Africa is open again. Now its waiting as patiently as can be for the Canadian Immigration--praying it will be ready to go soon also!
These last few weeks have been sort of blah. I have been feeling a bit discouraged and I need daily and minute reminders that God is in control. It sucks to know that our child might be out there but I don't know him/her yet. I have been working through this thought these last few weeks and it hasn't been easy. Who knows how much longer it will be as there is never a guaranteed timeline, I knew this coming in but actually living through it is a totally different feeling.
For the longest time (before our adoption process started) all I wanted was to be pregnant. We tried for a year before we decided it was time to look into adoption which we knew would always be in our family at some point. This is when it all began to fall into place in my heart and head. I wanted to be a mom of my child. There are no rules for how that will look but the fact is that someday I get to be a mom. It hasn't been an easy road and it will continue to have its ups and downs but in the end I will get to be a mom! This is the reminder, along with knowing that God has it in his hands, that keeps me going from day to day. Even on those days when I wake up with a heart that is just aching and I feel like I can't go on I know that God does have a plan for me and Josh and our family. This may sound cliche to you but it is exactly what life looks like for me. I have always thought of sharing this but never knew how exactly. I am not writing it for sympathy but for understanding of what it may be like for those around you in similar situations whether it is adoption or biological. Each day is a struggle when your plan in your head isn't how its actually happening.
I pray daily for all those moms to be, whether it is happening right now (Yay for another niece soon!) or you have been waiting for years. My heart rejoices and empathizes with you! My prayers reach out to all of you!
Thanks for reading and I hope that what I share makes sense and reaches out to someone!
Be Blessed!
Shaeline
